I am so not a fan. **Updated**

Has it really been five days since I posted? I have been so busy doing fun and exciting things such as puking and spotting that the time has just flown by. Yes, you read that correctly I am spotting again. It started on Sunday and has been getting progressively worse since then. I have an appointment with Doc Wonder in an hour. At least then we will have some answers.

**Updated**

Everything with the baby looks fine heart-rate was 173 and the baby has almost doubled in size from five days ago. There is bleeding coming from my cervix but my cervix looks fine and the ultrasound did not show any standing or free blood. My uterus was peaceful - no cramping coming from there and I was told in all likelihood that the cramping was from ligaments and ovaries. In all respects if you have to have bleeding this is the bleeding you want. Doc Wonder offered me another picture and told me that he only gives pictures when things are okay. No sense giving someone another picture of their dead/dying baby. It seemed a little harsh to say that but it was also really comforting (what can I say I like straight shooters) What I want to know is when does pregnancy gets easier? So tell me Internets, when did you relax in your pregnancy?

Comments

[Brandy]

Is your Flu bug gone yet?

The same thing happened to me...I spotted for a few days when I was coughing really bad. Then it went away for a few days then I had it again then that was the end of it. I'm sure its nothing! Be sure to keep us posted ASAP!

Good luck at the doctor!

[Farah]

ugh - sending prayers

[Jen]

Hope everything is ok. We all remember that the internet says spotting can be normal, and that last week your little bean (mine's a blob) was perfectly on track with a beautiful heartbeat, so hopefully this spotting is par for the course for you.

My nausea has persistetd without the vomiting. First I was nauseous and any kind of food made it go away, then I was nauseous and nothing made it go away, now I am nauseous and have no appetite, but then get suddenly starving upon which I will eat anything and the moment it's actually in my stomach, I get nauseous.

But I admit, I got paranoid when it disappeared for a 10-12 hour period.

My next appt is tomorrow. One of my best friends is coming with me, because I was terrified of hearing bad news and being an hour away from home without my husband.

[KellyC]

Good to hear it's all ok. I didn't relax into my pregnancy until I could really see the bump. Like when everyone knew i was pregnant. By then of course I was feeling a lot better tiredness-wise. I was lucky and never had anything to worry about, but still couldn't relax...

[Julia]

I'm the wrong one to ask about when to relax. But do your best to take it all in stride and enjoy as much as you can.

But, for what it's worth, you may want to tell your doctor that women who's babies are dying deserve pictures of their child - perhaps even more so than those whose aren't.

[Elizabeth]

I know it's so hard not to worry, I'm glad that you were able to get another great u/s and see that everything looks good.

I was able to slow down worrying sometime after 20 weeks, especially once I could feel movement regularly. But even so, when the pattern changes I still have little freakouts.

My sister, who has a 3yo, pointed out that the worrying never really ends... it just changes focus. I think of the worry as being part and parcel of the love.

[Sassy]

I'm so glad to hear everything is okay. Hopefully the spotting and cramping settles down soon.

[Brandy]

I feel so relieved for you both and for your baby!

Congratulations on the great visit!

[Sicilian Mama]

I'm 11 weeks today and still wonder when I'll be able to relax. Part of me thinks that I won't until I have this baby in my arms...and then a whole new set of worries will replace the old ones.

I, too, have been having some spotting problems. But it's not really spotting per se (that's confusing, I know, but I won't go into detail with what I mean)...when I had my first u/s they did see a small blood clot, so they are thinking the "spotting" is just that as it leaves the uterus. It's so stressful, though...so I totally understand how you're feeling.

Anyway - I'm glad that everything is still OK!!

[Melissa]

Here's the thing... pregnancy royally sucks in so many ways. It's a hard thing to accept after infertility battles. (Oh the guilt!) But it will be worth it when you baby arrives and of course will be the cutest bestest smelling newborn you've ever met.

To answer your question, there is no real relaxing after what you've been through. There are just milestones. 2nd trimester is a great milestone. 24 weeks is another for viability and it goes on. Collecting milestones until it's baby day.

My assvice would be to just to try.
Try to not obsess. (I know! I know!)
Try to enjoy some couple time with the Duke.
Try to get some pampering in for yourself.
Try to take that extra nap because you deserve it.
Try to enjoy the journey.

[Beverly]

I had a polyp on my cervix and spotted off and on throughtout my pregnancy, sometimes for no reason, and almost always after hubby and i did the nasty---sorry TMI!!
I was pretty relaxed throughout my entire preganncy, not sure why, just felt great knowing what was going on inside my tummy, and appreciating it. It doesn't seem to get much better even after you start feeling little guy moving around, because then you start stressing when you don't feel a movement after an hour, 2 hours etc. One thing I did was rent a doppler and I could listen to her heartbeat anytime i wanted to at home, hubby even recorded it. When I wanted some reassurance, I would just squirt on the gel and listen.....now on the other hand, there were a couple of times she was so head over butt I couldn't find it so sometimes they are less of a blessing. I know it's easy to say stay calm, focus on the end prize and don't fret, but you still will worry, worry, worry. Just really try to enjoy this time in your life, especially when you start showing and get all kinds of preferential treatment and admiring glances, the pregnant belly is a beautiful thing!!!
I think I followed almost all of mine in my blog if you go way back.
GOod luck to you!!!

[kate]

Sorry for the scary spotting, but I'm glad your doc says it's nothing. And in the mean time, just do what everyone tells you to when TTC... RELAX!!!! (Kidding! You should freely obsess whenever you need to in order to make yourself feel better.)

[Lulu]

Way to scare me!!!! I relaxed around 20 weeks, I think, but, like others have said, relaxing was a relative term. I relaxed, but then stressed about other baby-related stuff. Now he's 18 mos., and the stressing continues. You'll see ... :)

[Sonia]

I relaxed after the spotting stopped, and I had a *good* ultrasound. The rest of my pregnancy was a piece of cake and I loved it. Well...until the last 2 weeks when I was sure I would run out of skin before the baby was born and I was soooo uncomfortable. That was the first time around.
The second time, I was totally relaxed from the get-go. So then I was totally unprepared that I might miscarry, which I did. (This was last May) And the third time around, I was totally paranoid from the minute the pregnancy test was positive, and lost that one too, in August. So from my perspective, a little paranoia is healthy, especially since you've miscarried. It was entirely devastating to not have ever thought I could lose my second pregnancy, and then losing it. The third pregnancy, to tell you the truth.....I hadn't allowed myself to get excited or hopeful before I lost it.
Is this helping? I sure hope it is, I certainly don't mean to talk scary mommy crap at you!!
I don't think you can talk yourself into being relaxed about your pregnancy, having been through what you have. I do think that somewhere along the way you'll look up one day and realize that you relaxed and that this is pretty damn cool!

[Carrie]

Sorry to hear about the spotting again, I know that only makes you more nervous.

I don't think we ever stop worrying. Right after each appointment I would feel relieved, but then stress until my next appointment (and that is how it is with the new pregnancy, too).

[Carole]

To be perfectly honest, I don't think you ever stop worrying, but you just find new things to worry about. I finally relaxed when I was about a month from my due date. I figured I was far enough along that they could deliver a healthy baby if they needed to.

I've known lots of people who spotted during pregnancy and all had healthy babies.

Try not to worry!

[Melanie]

I had a very friable cervix and spotted during all of my pregnancies.

I can also appreciate a straight shooter, but I have to say...when my first baby was "dying", I cherished every picture I could get of him. I still look at them, to remind myself that he really did grow and struggle inside me, until he left for heaven.

I am so happy that everything is going well for you!

[Farah]

So glad for hte great news update- I have to say - I am 26 weeks and I started to enjoy it around 20-21 weeks I started feeling movements. It's not a full breat/sigh of relief but iti s easier to manage the anxiety level. (for me)